my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
I would ride that face into the sunset
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
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