I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
