4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
