just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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