I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
