so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
being pregnant is like rehab
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Randomize
