We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
