what if every blade of grass was a penis?
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
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