Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
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