Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
she pinky promised me she was 18
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Randomize
