Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
