He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
