i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
