no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Randomize
