Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize