at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
he told me I talked like a deaf person
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
