I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Randomize
