tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
