Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
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