How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
