matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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