Those balls look pretty dangerous.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize