Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Randomize
