This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
I'm eating all of the evidence.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
