How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
I look excited, but its just a facade.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
