His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Randomize
