Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Randomize