Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Randomize
