We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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