i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
