I am midnight drunk by noon
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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