I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
