I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Randomize
