Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
