One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
just found out that she named her cat after me.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
