Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
