I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
