Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
