I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
Randomize
