FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize
