what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
