True but thats because hes a fetus.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
