Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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