just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Randomize
