Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
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