Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
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