You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
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