I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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