? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
last night I used snow as a chaser
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
