NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
The uberlube is also flammable
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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