no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
its liver damage thursday
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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