Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
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