dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
