i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
