hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Randomize
