best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
