its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
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