dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Randomize
